“The Cube is, at the same time, a symbol of simplicity and complexity.”
– Erno Rubik
Anomalous thinkers are wired with complexity. That is certain. Yet, there is a deep simplicity that they crave, require and long for.
To observe their lives, or to hear them speak, it may appear to be anything but simple. That’s often because they are unable to navigate the chaos and the noise in order to find that simplicity that they need. You may also observe an anomalous thinker’s life and find that it is the model of simplicity. Their inner world or the way they see the outer world, could still be quite chaotic. In order to function well, they have to make sense of the chaos by bringing it into order.
They are able to look at a very complex or systemic set of problems and strip it down to the chassis to address the root of the issue. Once the problem is stripped down, they can build a solution from spare parts.
This need to subdue chaos is often what drives them to design, refine, and create systems or tools that facilitate order in their world. Photographer Platon expresses it this way:
“For me, a very complex world has to be simplified. Has to be stripped down. And design, for me, was a way out of confusion. Because great design simplifies a very complicated world.”
They may also begin with a specific design or system, and constantly experiment with new iterations of it, until they get it right. Of course at that point, they may have outgrown that system or tool entirely.
To counterbalance their complexity, they often crave simplicity. They are also profoundly adept at enjoying very simple pleasures.
They are wired with complexity but need both the simple and complex in order to be satisfied. If they are surrounded by only simple, they can bore easily and lose interest. There has to be a challenge, new experience or a puzzle to solve.
Perhaps this dichotomy is the allure of both the Cube by Rubik and the anomalous thinker. It can be a very attractive quality, yet for those who love them daily, it can prove to be quite confusing. We’ll have additional conversations about these living dichotomies and tools to help them reconcile their seemingly opposing forces.
There is something with the universe, our galaxy, and beyond that calls to us. Something in the depths of the ocean, something in the cry of a child, something in the howl of a coywolf that begs us to dig deeper. To explore, to research and discover. It’s almost as though, it wants to be known. To be grasped or comprehended.
So it is with the anomalous thinker.
They, within themselves, contain a vastness, a depth, that longs to be explored and searched. Traversed. Known.
The problem they find is that if no one believes it exists, then no one seeks to explore it. Then there are those that may catch a glimpse of it, but lack the courage or drive to set off on an expedition of discovery.
To add to this complexity, anomalous thinkers desire to be known in our totality. Not in tiny slivers or portions but in our fullness. The good, the bad, and the ugly. The dark, the light. The playful, hopeful and existential. In the triumphs as well as the turmoil. We want to be known.
The problem is that for most of our lives, we live redacted or truncated. Unable to fully express because the audience isn’t able to take it all in, misunderstands what is taken in, or can’t even process the little they’ve already attempted to take in.
So we wait. We wait or we give up on the naively optimistic notion that such a thing is even possible.
Then there comes the risk involved with being known. What if when all of who I am is laid bare, they gasp in horror? What if I am too much and they buckle under the weight of my existence? What if my brokenness is far too much to bear and irreparable damage is done as a result of revealing who I am?
Conversely, what if it is possible to be known? What if someone exists that is willing to roll up their sleeves and put in whatever work is necessary to understand you? What if you are worth knowing and understanding?
Derived from Greek, asynchronous means not with time. It describes objects or events that are not coordinated in time. However, when discussing the anomalous thinker, it describes with stunning accuracy the “mismatch between cognitive, emotional and physical development of [these] individuals.” They may appear advanced in certain areas and not others. Because they are.
They are intelligent enough to understand complex ideas, grasp abstract concepts, wrestle with philosophical questions about meaning, observe and interpret patterns, and solve seemingly unsolvable problems. Yet, there can be (and usually are) huge gaps in understanding. While this can be temporary until they are taught or they learn in a more self-guided way (which can take longer for some), these gaps can be an immense source of frustration because there are so few that have the ability to teach them.
Because of the hyperawareness, some anomalous thinkers are aware that there are these vast chasms of ignorance, but are unsure about how to traverse them. They know that they don’t know something without always knowing what that something is or how to go about finding out.
This asynchrony can become like the prison, Azkaban, from the Harry Potter franchise. This is because majority of the population cannot accept or process them in their dichotomy. They can’t grasp that they are a genius who struggles to understand very basic things that everyone else seems to comprehend with ease. For example, unspoken social norms, relationships, parallel parking, birthdays and the electric pallet jack.
So the anomalous thinker will often find one of two scenarios: someone only sees their gaps in understanding and assume they are stupid. This is incredibly destructive to the anomalous thinker. It can be debilitating and function as a speed governor in terms of their performance and growth.
In this scenario, they can find themselves imprisoned by micromanagement because they are perceived to be stupid. This perception is also reinforced by our endless stream of questions to gather additional data. For many of us, we make data based decisions and can’t or don’t make decisions without having enough data to process. Or we are simply curious. Additionally, if you happen to be given to Dabrowski’s imaginational overexcitability as I am, your head is almost always in the clouds. You may have been labeled a space cadet or airhead.
The hyperawareness, self reflection and impossibly high standards that they set for themselves only exacerbate the pain. All of these things can behave like Dementers in the prison of Azkaban. They can suck the joy and hope right out of you. If the anomalous thinker doesn’t do the work required to stay healthy mentally, they can end up (as Remus Lupin puts it) not needing walls because they are trapped inside their own heads.
The other scenario is that you have someone who only sees their vast body of knowledge and understanding and do not hold space for naïveté or understanding gaps. They will say things like ‘come on, it’s not rocket science’ or ‘just practice, you’ll get it’. As children there may even be more harmful phrases employed such as ‘I expected more from you.’ ‘You’re so much smarter than that.’
I’ve heard it all. Even the things that weren’t said. And each time, it inflicted pain.
The expectation is that you are smart enough to figure it out on your own so you are always left to do the heavy lifting on your own. Don’t get me wrong, I adore heavy lifting. Physically and cognitively. When the heavy lifting becomes a chronic state of being or is consistently outside of the areas of strength, then heavy lifting can be oppressive. It also takes it’s toll on the creative of side of our cognition, which for me, I rely on heavily. (No pun intended.) Continuing with the heavy lifting parallel, weight lifters use spotters. In that same way, your anomalous thinker would benefit greatly from having a spotter when doing heavy lifting cognitively and emotionally. Really most lifting in life. However, there are very few individuals with the unique qualifications required for that role.
Bright Sheng touches on the topic of not having qualified spotters in an inspiring and poignant Ted Talk titled, The Last Train. He discusses his inability to find someone capable of teaching him and his journey of self-learning. Typically wired individuals often view the anomalous thinker’s advocation of their need for qualified teachers as arrogance. It can also come across as a refusal to learn, when that couldn’t be farther from reality.
They have an insatiable drive to learn but this quest cannot be lead by a typical thinker or someone who who is unable to hold their brilliance and ignorance in tension. In fact, it requires an anomalous thinker. Someone who can see their genius and still hold space for their gaps in understanding. Someone intuitive and empathetic. There has to be a synergy within the teacher/student dynamic that unlocks performance potential in both parties.
If you happen to stumble across this somewhere along life’s path, don’t screw it up. We’ll talk more about self sabotage later on.
(n.) The feeling of being in a completely foreign place; The disorientation that accompanies a drastic change of scenery. Or the weird feeling you get when you feel disoriented or lost in something you don’t understand.
Drenched in sweat, both exhausted and exhilarated, I felt as though I had been transported to another place and time. Dancing for me has always been transcendent. It’s been a way of escape but also a simple expression of my inner life. I’ve been dancing my entire life. In stolen moments, when no one is watching.
Tonight, that all changed. I danced as though no one were watching, yet the girl behind me had her eyes fixed on me. Stepping when I stepped and spinning when I would spin. She tried desperately to synchronize our movements but with little success.
She had a harried look on her face and didn’t seem to be enjoying the moment she was in at all.
I, on the other hand, was living my best life.
I was smiling and enjoying the very loud music in another language that I didn’t understand. I missed a step here and there and didn’t spin quite as fast as the other students did every time.
We were both experiencing dépaysement, just from very different points of view. As with most things, this word can carry both positive and negative connotations.
What she didn’t know is that a month or so ago, I was dancing where she was. Back row of class, unable to keep up, lost in dépaysement. I was frustrated and a bit embarrassed at my inability to do well something I had spent my life doing.
I began to recall all of the times that I had had that feeling. Feeling like a novice and honestly a bit stupid. I had it often enough that I remembered that feeling more than I remembered feeling smart and knowledgeable. This made me think. Why is it that I had this feeling so often?
Then I began to think about the last quarter. I had trained for a new position, at a relatively new job. It was my third position in which I trained. I had also taken on new clients in my business (which I work on days off from job). These new clients required me to learn new things in order to complete the project. I had also started this new dance class, started learning a new language and reading new books from a different topic than usual. The quarter before that had just as many new experiences.
I crave novelty. Not sure if it is some variation of hedonic adaptation or not. I think it is more of curiosity driven lust for learning. Whatever it is, it is the reason that I often feel like a novice lost in dépaysement. But realizing that I chose this shifted me from the negative connotations of it to the positive.
I realized that I love that feeling and that I require it to be happy.
Dissidence isn’t new. It’s been a way of thinking, way of being since human beings began being. History’s tapestry has anomalous thinkers interwoven throughout it. And yet society has yet to make room for them. I mean really make room for them. We’ve come a long way in my lifetime and even more in the last decade. But as Robert Frost put it, we still have “miles to go before we sleep. Miles to go before we sleep.”
When you take a deep swirling mouthful of why I wrote this book, you’d find many different ingredients dancing about together. If you put that mixture into a boiling pot and distill it down to it’s elementary ingredients what you have is this narrative.
My earliest memories of life were intertwined with the constant awareness that I was different. Initially I didn’t have too many opinions of whether the difference was good or bad. I was out to collect data and find out. I didn’t have to wait long. The data began to inundate me. Data from loved ones, teachers, caregivers, strangers in the bank, the grocery store, the people on the trolly, on the subway platform…everyone. They all seemed to behave a certain way and understand the way that they behaved but not the way that I did. Perhaps my manner of speech, preferences, thought patterns and behavior were normal, just not for someone of my age, gender, race, etc. Perhaps it was tolerable, even permissible just simply not in the volume or with the frequency or at the depth at which I existed. Once the data was aggregated and analyzed I concluded that there was something inherently wrong with me. I was beyond repair. It became my deepest, darkest secret. I began to study people to crack the code on normality so that I could embrace it, even embody it. And if the mission failed, I could at least fake it. I could pretend to be normal.
We moved around quite a bit and every new school I attended I anticipated finding someone like me. Someone who understood. Every train ride, bus ride, restaurant visit, shopping excursion, trip to the beach…What I found instead were one, maybe two overlapping circles on a Venn Diagram. I settled on the fact that I would never be fully understood. The pain however, was not alleviated by such acceptance. At each new school or new grade I had a teacher who would comment about my brightness and that I was “smart.” I assumed that if someone really were smart or bright, they would feel like they were. I didn’t. I didn’t understand most things. I had no idea why most of the kids liked the same music, watched the same tv shows, and liked to dress alike. They enjoyed doing the same things, going the same places, and even eating the same foods. There was some variation based on culture, socioeconomic status, etc, but largely there were vast groups of individuals who shared common behaviors, desires, dislikes and patterns of thought.
There were times when these observations from well meaning teachers led to conversations with my mother about my differences. They were spoken in hush tones, and I was often, if not always asked to wait outside. Following these conversations were trips to the school psychiatrist or guidance counselor. Testing followed. The outcome of such tests were never discussed with me directly. They often resulted in the teacher treating me differently and either my classes or my school changing. I overheard a teacher, proctor, whatever she was, gasp after looking at the test and reference Einstein. I didn’t know much about him then, except that he was old, dead and had disheveled hair. I couldn’t find the connection between he and I and the reference alone sent me on a downward spiral. I stopped compiling data. I didn’t want to know anymore. I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that I possessed some level of psychopathy, I was inherently broken and completely beyond repair. The only viable course of action was to hide within myself until I died.
I only revealed bits of myself based on the recipients ability to tolerate it, tolerate me. I could tell when I overwhelmed someone. Most of the time. I could tell when they were mind numbingly bored with me. Some of the time. I could tell when I revealed too much of my inner life and they needed to escape and recuperate. And then there were times that I was completely oblivious.
I was a daydreamer. I would be underwhelmed with whatever was going on or just wanted to escape the painful reality in which I existed. So escaped within myself. My mindscape was rich and unlimited. I could go anywhere and do anything, and so I did. I would collect data, create theories based on that data, test those theories and so much more. When I was traveling among these imaginary lands and scenarios I was completely unaware of whatever was going on around me. I was impervious to sound, sights, heat, cold, hunger…the real world in it’s entirety. A family member recalls my mother testing my hearing to determine the cause of these episodes. When I asked about my periods of silence outside of those episodes, I was told that it seemed as though I thought the conversations were so trivial that they didn’t warrant a response on my part. He said that I thought it was beneath me. I don’t recall ever feeling superior to anyone…ever. But I do recall not having anything to say or that if I said what I wanted to say, no one would understand. I still deal with that at times.
After a lifetime of research, data collection, observations and interviews I now understand how I am wired. I also understand those who have similar wiring. Hence this work that I now share with you.
You can’t be legendary if you have no energy…and it all starts with inspiration…Protect your inspiration.
Robin Sharma
Many anomalous thinkers are also highly sensitive and are affected deeply by the energy of those around them. It can be something communicated via their subconscious. They aren’t even aware that it is happening. They enter a room, a building and suddenly they are inundated with emotional data from everyone around them or at least those who are emitting the most energy. Processing that energy, even in the background, can be exhausting and will deplete the energy of your anomalous thinker.
Energy is precious. The anomalous thinker must guard their energy even more than the typically wired. Even the slightest brush with negativity can potentially have a profound impact. Tension, confusion, chaos, and fighting can debilitate the highly sensitive anomalous thinker.
Even more dangerous to them is a lack of inspiration. While they tend to be intrinsically motivated, it is based on the amount of inspiration taken in. Similar to a fire, the more logs the brighter and stronger the fire. When supplied regularly with logs, the fire can burn for long lengths of time. Anomalous thinkers are fueled by inspiration whether or not they realize it.
As the combustion engine requires fuel, so the anomalous thinker requires inspiration.
What inspires the anomalous thinker varies widely depending on the individual. The things that discourage or block inspiration tend to be a bit more universal. Among those things are: too long without play, or wonder or interruption of the status quo. They are very hard workers when motivated. However, even the hardest worker will need some kind of reward upon completion. At times, completion can serve as it’s own reward.
There are also strong, controlling personalities that can hinder inspiration when they inundate the anomalous thinker with rules, nagging and expectations that are contrary to wiring.
Nearly everything the anomalous thinker does requires inspiration. And last week’s motivation may not work for today. For optimal performance, peak performance and sustained performance, inspiration is required.
Under the topic of context, which we’ll discuss in greater detail in future conversations, the anomalous thinker must have an inspiration rich environment. If it lacks inspiration they can create an inspiration corner, closet, space…something. Pull out all the stops and make it happen.
As mentioned before, when the input threshold of inspiration is reached, and the period of processing is complete, the output will be phenomenal.
When properly inspired your anomalous thinker can do literally anything.
-APA Dictionary of Psychology Novelty.n: the quality of being new and unusual. It is one of the major determining factors directing attention. The attraction to novelty has been shown to begin as early as 1 year of age; for example, when infants are shown pictures of visual patterns, they will stare longer at a new pattern than at a pattern they have already seen. In consumer behavior, the attraction to novelty is manifested as a desire for a change, even in the absence of dissatisfaction with the present situation. For example, despite satisfaction with a particular product, many consumers will switch to a different brand just because it is new.
While everyone has novelty thresholds, the anomalous thinker has higher thresholds for it. Like many other things in life, it’s more of a spectrum than a simple yes or no. Someone can have moderate novelty thresholds. That means that they only require a moderate amount of novelty in order to reach satisfaction.
For those with high novelty thresholds, they bore easily and it takes quite a bit to hold and maintain their attention. In some cases high novelty thresholds show up as an inability to watch the same movie twice, re-read the same book or repeat oneself ad nauseum.
Having low novelty thresholds shows up in those that can do repetitive work without developing atrophy. They have favorite songs that they keep on repeat, they watch and rewatch movies and don’t mind retelling or rehearing familiar stories. Novelty thresholds can also vary from one area to another. One can have high novelty thresholds with food, travel and media, but low thresholds with the cars they drive and clothes they wear.
For most people novelty thresholds are relatively static. There can be notable events in a person’s life that may alter that, but largely, they remain consistent. For the anomalous thinker, these thresholds fluctuate depending on the processing and growth seasons that the thinker may be in. For example, in the input phase of processing, novelty thresholds are very high, whereas during the output phase, it could be much lower. During seasons of positive disintergration novelty will be higher than usual. Periods of grief will either drastically increase or decrease the novelty thresholds, but there will be significant fluctuation.
There are things that we typically classify as needs. Food, water, safety. Yet for those that are wired with complexity, the emotional, cognitive, spiritual, and even physical needs are higher than average. Novelty may seem frivolous, but it’s not. It is indeed a necessity. If your anomalous thinker is more of a synthesizer (scanning and gathering data from various places and creating a mash up or synthesis of the data), they will have significantly higher levels of novelty required.
Without atrophy or comorbidities, novelty is typically cyclical. They may desire a significant amount of novelty, then the desire will drop. These seasons can be quarterly, seasonal according to weather seasons, seasons of creativity or even over a lifetime. They may require more novelty in early years and less in older years or vice versa. There is the rare group of anomalous thinkers that are your modern day nomads. They will constantly require novelty and are at their healthiest and best when roaming.
Change is an essential part of life. The anomalous thinker is in part wired to initiate change. They desire in the deepest parts of who they are. They may not know how to initiate that change and may even be afraid of the very changes that they long for. Generally speaking, their need for novelty does not indicate dissatisfaction with the current state of their life or the people in it. They desire change and growth because it’s possible. They also desire it, because it is how they learn and grow. They gather data and process through new experiences. They want to live life to fullest.
“We inhabit time as fish live in water. Our being is in time.”
Carlo Rovelli
Usually, we call “real” the things that exist now, in the present. Not those things that existed once, or may do so in the future.
Carlo Rovelli
I promise this isn’t a lecture in physics. The point I am making is this. Even in the experience of time passing, the anomalous thinker often diverges from the norm.
For the anomalous thinker we exist in this dimension as something like time travelers. Now, before you start assuming we all own our time machines or that I am saying we are shape shifters, let me explain. Our concept of reality extends beyond the confines of now.
Psychologists refer to the phenomenon as flow. The state in which we are so engaged in what we are doing or thinking that we become completely oblivious to the passage of time. So much so that we are unaware of sensory experiences like hot/cold, hunger or even the need to relieve ourselves.
Even outside a flow state, we can often forget what day it is, or how many days have elapsed since a particular event. Richard Feynman in Perfectly Reasonable Deviations From the Beaten Track, wrote many letters. In some of those letters to his mother, he would often pen his unawareness of what the date was or how many days had passed since a particular event took place.
Then there is the whole concept of age. As children we tend to be very old, yet often more immature than our counterparts the same age, at the same time. Conversely, as we age into adulthood, there can be the experience of aging in reverse. Or more accurately, we stopped internally aging years ago. We seldom (if ever) have true peers or deep connections with individuals within our same age bracket.
But back to existing in time… anomalous thinkers tend to consider historical events in a more real or concrete sense than their non-dissident counterparts. As a result, they tend to be more aware of the historical implications of current events. Likewise, the future, even just the possibility of future events, is just as real to them as now.
This is a beautiful feature of the anomalous thinker. They are built for around the here and now driving, and leisure drives down memory lane as much as they are long distances into the future. However, if there is atrophy or high levels of anxiety, the awareness of future event’s reality can become a looming albatross around the neck of the anomalous thinker. It then becomes important to help them reframe future events by discovering hope and the realization that they have some control over what happens. There has to be an anticipation of good in the now, or it becomes quite difficult to move forward into a bleak and hopeless future.
Lover’s Manual 